The Power of Cherishing Her: How to Inspire an 8-Cow Wife

In a quiet fishing village along the coast of Ubagbo, there lived a man named Obinna Nwosu. He was strong, wise, and admired by many for his success in trade and leadership.

But Obinna did something no one expected. When it was time to marry, he went to the family of Amara, a young woman known for her shyness and quiet presence. In a culture where two cows could win a bride, and five cows meant a woman of great beauty and skill, Obinna offered eight cows.

The elders gasped. Eight cows for that girl?

“She’s ordinary,” they whispered. “She barely speaks. Her head is always down.”

But Obinna saw something deeper.

Years later, a visiting storyteller, Aunty Nkem, found her way to Obinna’s compound. There she met a regal woman with eyes that danced like sunlight on water and a voice that warmed the soul. She couldn’t believe this radiant queen was the same Amara.

“How did this happen?” Aunty Nkem asked.

Obinna smiled and said, “People change; outside and inside. But nothing matters more than how a woman sees herself. Amara once thought she was worth nothing. Now, she knows she’s the most precious woman in all of Ubagbo. I wanted an eight-cow wife, so I paid what she was worth.”

How You Treat Her Shapes Her

Obinna’s story reminds us: a woman often becomes what she is told she is. When you cherish a woman, honour her essence, and speak to the queen inside her, she shines.

So, whether you’re married or courting, ask yourself: How does she feel when she’s with me? Am I building her up, or slowly wearing her down?

50 Ways to Cherish the Queen in Your Life

Let’s make this practical. Here are 50 ways to inspire the best in your wife or partner—ways to show her that she’s worth eight cows and more.

Study Her

1. Learn what excites her. What drains her? What makes her light up?

2. Ask God for wisdom in loving her deeply and rightly (James 1:5-6).

3. Write 30 things you love about her. Leave one sticky note every day.

4. Give her time to explore her passions or calling. Be her biggest supporter.

5. Take care of the children while she spends a day with herself and God.

See Her, Really See Her

6. Listen with your whole heart. Watch her body language and mood.

7. Support her hobbies. Buy her something small and thoughtful.

8. Pray with her, not just for her.

9. Make a playlist of songs that remind you of her beauty and strength.

10. Whisper affirmations when you see her shine: “You’re amazing at that.”

Lighten Her Load

11. Spot what drains her energy. Take one burden off her shoulders.

12. Teach your children to thank her—even for small things.

13. Know her love language—acts, words, gifts, time, or touch.

14. Give her her version of rest. Maybe it’s alone time. Honour it.

15. Let her know she’s your standard of beauty. Let your eyes tell her.

Share and Serve Together

16. Go through the budget together. Let her make the final call sometimes.

17. Be a student of her body. Ask what makes her feel beautiful and secure.

18. Help her protect her time and energy from draining relationships.

19. Give her a massage with no expectations.

20. Send a sweet text during her busy day: “I believe in you.”

Speak Life into Her

21. Plan regular time for her to do what she loves.

22. Tell her where you see her growing spiritually.

23. Ask about her dreams. What’s on her “bucket list”?

24. Get her a book or video about something she loves.

25. Leave her voice notes of encouragement.

Surprise and Delight

26. Compliment her in public and private.

27. Plan a date doing what she loves.

28. Ask her what one thing you could do to love her better, and do it.

29. Be honest about her strengths. Celebrate them.

30. Set aside money for her growth, classes, travel, and hobbies.

Create a Joyful Home

31. Post online about your love for her.

32. Let the children write her letters of appreciation.

33. Ask how you can empower her, then follow through.

34. Remind her how she’s impacted others over the years.

35. Do something playful and spontaneous together.

Apologize and Grow

36. Reflect on how you may have hurt her. Apologize sincerely.

37. Find an activity you both enjoy and make it a habit.

38. Create a joyful atmosphere when you return home.

39. Design stress-free date nights.

40. Pray for strength in her current challenges.

Protect Her Peace

41. Clean or organize something that bothers her.

42. Ask about her fears. Pray together against them.

43. Mail her a handwritten love note.

44. Help her delegate or outsource draining tasks.

45. Take her shopping for outfits that boost her confidence.

Honour and Respect

46. Be her rest advocate. Help her set healthy limits.

47. Speak highly of her—everywhere, every time.

48. Support her in her weak spots, without criticism.

49. Invite feedback. Ask how you can improve and listen.

50. When she messes up, love her with grace and mercy.

Maybe you’re giving all this and getting little in return. Or maybe you’re a woman reading this, longing for a husband like Obinna. Take heart. Giving selflessly puts you in divine company. You are seen. You are loved.

Our ancestors knew: when you honour a woman, you honour a people. Raise queens, and you raise a nation.

#FeelNubia #8CowWife #CherishHer #AfricanLoveStories
Explore more African wisdom at feelnubia.org.uk

Article inspired by Janel Breitenstein (C. FamilyLife.com)

 

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