Intimacy in Marriage: 7 Sex Truths for Husbands and Wives

Sex is a gift from God. It’s part of His beautiful design for marriage. But let’s face it—husbands and wives often think about sex differently.

These differences can create tension. Or worse, distance. But with understanding and intention, they can also bring you closer than ever.

Let’s explore 7 things men need to remember about sex, and 7 things every wife should keep in mind. These truths aren’t magic bullets—but they can reignite passion, deepen connection, and strengthen your faith as a couple.

7 Things Husbands Need to Know About Sex

1. Hollywood Sex Isn’t Real

Movie scenes are scripted. They’re acted out, edited, and glamorized. Real intimacy is messy, sacred, and personal. Stop comparing your wife—or yourself—to fiction.

2. Her Needs May Look Different

Sex might not rank as high for her as it does for you. That’s okay. But are you just as invested in meeting her emotional and relational needs? Start by asking her. Listen well.

3. She Needs to Feel Safe

Security is sexy—for your wife. She needs to know you’re committed. That she’s cherished. When she feels emotionally safe, her body and heart follow.

4. Be Her Companion, Not Just Her Roommate

If you’re not spending time together, laughing, talking, and having fun, don’t expect connection in the bedroom. Relationship fuels romance.

5. Lust Is Unfaithfulness

Jesus said looking at a woman with lust is adultery. Porn and fantasy violate trust. Pursue purity—not just with your eyes, but with your heart.

6. There’s No One-Size-Fits-All

What worked yesterday might not work today. Women aren’t puzzles to be solved. They’re people to be known. Stay curious and gentle.

7. She’s Insecure—Encourage Her

Your wife sees every flaw in the mirror. Be her biggest fan. Words matter. Tell her she’s beautiful. Often.

7 Things Wives Need to Know About Sex

1. Sex Is God’s Idea

It’s not dirty or taboo—it’s divine. God created sex to bond you and your husband. It’s part of how you become “one flesh.”

2. It Matters to Him

For most husbands, sex isn’t just physical. It’s emotional. Spiritual. A major way he feels loved and connected.

3. Your Response Speaks Volumes

When he initiates, how you respond communicates honor—or rejection. You don’t have to say yes every time, but say no with love. Keep the door open for closeness.

4. Sex Is a Ministry

Yes, it’s pleasure. But it’s also service. Withholding sex as a weapon damages trust. Scripture calls both spouses to mutual giving in this area.

5. He’s Wired Visually

You may not feel like a supermodel—but to him, you are. He wants to see you. Don’t hide. Let him enjoy the beauty God gave you.

6. Romance Novel Men Aren’t Real

Those emotionally perfect, strong-yet-sensitive characters? Fiction. Celebrate your husband’s real, God-given masculinity instead of resenting what he’s not.

7. Variety Is a Blessing

God designed the marriage bed to be a place of freedom. Explore what you both enjoy—with love, respect, and honesty. Creativity honors your connection.

Bringing It All Together

Intimacy takes work. It takes communication. And above all, it takes grace.

Remember: sex in marriage isn’t just about passion—it’s about partnership.
It’s one way we reflect God’s design for love, unity, and joy.

So talk openly. Listen deeply. And keep choosing each other—heart, soul, and body.

Inspired by a post authored by Bob Lepine (C Family Life)

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