Beyond Biology: Being a Mother
Image by Awala Micheal from Pixabay
A Mother’s Love Isn’t Always Biological—It’s Intentional
Motherhood is about more than giving birth, it is about nurturing, guiding, and loving. A true mother may shape lives biologically, spiritually, or intellectually. This broader definition breaks away from traditional norms and embraces the silent, sacrificial love of those who raise children they did not physically birth.
As a woman raising four biological children and two who “did not come from my body,” I understand deeply what it means to mother beyond biology. In many West African cultures, a man’s children are considered his wife’s as well. That does not mean the path of raising a blended family is easy, especially when emotional baggage and societal expectations are in the mix.
My Story: From Stepchildren to Sons and Daughters
When I married my husband, he already had two young children from previous relationships. Many advised me against it. “Don’t do it,” they warned. “There’s no joy in raising someone else’s kids.” But I knew in my heart that these children were already a part of my life’s story.
My decision was shaped by my childhood. My father had a son before marriage, and my half-brother never quite accepted my mother for many years despite her constant efforts. Misinformation and manipulation created a chasm that never fully healed. I saw firsthand the pain it caused—and vowed to do things differently.
A Prayer Answered: Becoming a Family
Just a week after our wedding, my husband’s children came to live with us. They were six and four years old. Over the years, I gave birth to three more children. By year four of our marriage, I was a full-time mother of five. It was a whirlwind of love, learning, and letting go.
Some moments brought tears of joy. Some days were incredibly hard. And in those difficult moments, I prayed, talked, and listened. I reminded myself that love is a verb—and I chose to love them every day. Gradually, they started calling me “Mum” on their own. That name meant everything.
Against All Odds: Building a Blended Family
Many thought it wouldn’t work. I was a high-flying executive with big dreams and a fast-paced life. My husband, a deeply thoughtful man with a quieter temperament, needed support as his business expanded. I left my career to become a full-time homemaker; an unexpected, but fulfilling twist in my life’s story.
We became one family in spite of the odds that were stacked against us. We shared values, faith, and vision. We faced many challenges, but also had breakthroughs. Through school days and sick days, exam prep and growing pains, I have earned the name “Mum.”
Parenting with Courage and Clarity
I’m not afraid to discipline. I don’t shy away from tough conversations. I’ve told them, clearly and lovingly:
“You are not my stepchildren—you are my children by choice and by God’s design. You were not forced on me. We are a family forged in love.”
This commitment means holding boundaries, praying constantly, and pushing past the fear of being misunderstood or labeled “the wicked stepmother.” My goal is not popularity but purpose: raising whole, well-loved children in God’s grace.
This Is What Motherhood Looks Like
Motherhood is not one-size-fits-all. It’s messy, beautiful, complicated, and holy. It’s earned through late nights, deep prayers, big sacrifices, and even bigger love.
I may not have carried all six of my children in my womb, but I have held them in my heart, on my knees in prayer, and in the strength of daily sacrifice.
To Every Nurturing Soul: Happy Mother’s Day
To all the women—and men—who love beyond biology, who raise children with grace and grit: Happy Mother’s Day. You are shaping the future with every word, every hug, every boundary, and every act of love.
You are mothers in every sense of the word. And the world is better because of you.
