Alternative Parental Remedy

One quiet Saturday afternoon, afternoon, my two-year old toddler interrupted my ‘mummy time’ during which I usually catch up with work which I need to finish off before the new week begins.

He left his sister who was watching him in the kitchen to come looking for me in the study. He pointed at his face and said: “My nose”. Distracted, I smiled at him for a quick second and said: “Yes, that’s your nose. What other body parts do you know, darling?” He must have thought to himself: “She’s not getting it” and went off to get his Father’s attention. Unsuccessful at getting any notice from his Father who was in the living room making a phone call, he circled back to me and pointed again.

This time he took my hand and put it up to his face. So I put the laptop aside and said: “Show Mummy your ears, your eyebrow…” Again, he said: “Mummy, Nose”, this time sounding a little flustered as he shoved his pinkie up his nose. Pulling his hand away from his face, I tilted his face up and peered into his nostrils. He was recovering from a cold but the bright color inside his nostril caught me by surprise. Trying to stay calm, I thought perhaps it was a little inflamed but it was not the pinkish red I expected to see, it was a bright red, almost orange hue and it did not simply appear inflamed, it was bulging out from high up in his nostril!

I took him out to the living room where the lighting was better to get a closer look and consult with my husband. “I think there’s something up in his nose”, as I shoved him gently towards his Dad. My husband peered in and said: “It looks like a… piece of tomato..?” “Not, its too dark”, I replied. Then it hit me! My daughter had been picking a bowl of beans while she was watching him.  “Oh my goodness! He’s pushed a bean up his nose”.  I was quite distressed now as I started to look for the car keys to head for the emergency room. “Are you sure you can’t get it out with a pair of tweezers?” asked my husband. By then, my three teenage girls were gathered around him, blaming one another for not keeping a closer eye on him. “Tweezers?! What if I push it farther in? What if I puncture something? You’ll have to do it! Wait, google it!” I shouted to no one in particular. I sat back down and grabbed my phone.  A few minutes later, I was much calmer as I read the accounts of thousands of parents who had dealt with children who had objects lodged up their nostrils.  “Water!”  I said out loud. My husband said: “We can force it out with air.” “How would I know how much air is enough?” I asked.  All this time, I had been pulling my toddler’s hands away from his face as I spoke. He wriggled free and shoved his finger up his nostril again. “Stop,” I shouted at him and smacked him across the bottom. “You’re making it worse”. Startled by the scolding and smacking, he burst into tears and let out a loud wail, which was frankly disproportionate to the chastisement. As he started to wail, something popped out of his nose: it was the bean!

“Next time you do that, I know exactly how to fix it”,  I said to him, hugging him as everyone dissolved into relieved laughter.