As a Black Woman Loves

The African American woman loves her man with all her heart. True love. She’s in pain because she loves from a place of sincerity, exclusivity, of partnership, of equality.

Her heart breaks because her man is still inherently a man, a wanderer, a warrior, a philanderer, a male.

In the land of his most recent forefathers, he fulfills his former captive’s destiny for himself, of incarceration, limitations, insecurity, homosexuality, uselessness.

But he tries his best, and often achieves financial success. She stands by his side however, for he is her man, he is who she want. Who else would she should want? But he leaves, heartless, on to the next true love, a trail of broken families left in his wake. She carries the load, bears the scars, cares for their offspring, treats her diseased body, prays for spiritual, physical and emotional wholeness. She begs for God’s mercy.

The African woman loves her man, her heart desires to give and experience true love, but that is not what relationships are culturally founded upon. She loves him for what he can do for her.  She plays her role and has his children, she serves him, works, nurtures, and lives in quiet desperation. Her man is inherently a man, as he exercises his true nature as a wanderer, a warrior, a philanderer, a male. But he is a provider, and gives generously to his women. His numerous wives, women, concubines share him, care for him, in spite of his heartlessness, wickedness, selfishness, brutishness.  They stand by his side because he is who they want. Who else would they want? He stays by their side, while they raise his broken families, nurture their scars, treat their diseased bodies, pray for spiritual, physical and emotional wholeness. They beg God for His mercy.

We all beg God for mercy.

Idama Amadi is an African-American woman who lives and loves in both cultures.  She writes from Atlanta Georgia