You Don’t Get to Define Me! (Rejoinder to John Zibiri)

You Don’t Get to Define Me! A Rejoinder to John Zibiri

Someone recently shared a frustrating article allegedly written by an expat named John Zibiri. In it, he recounted his so-called “Nigerian experience.” I couldn’t finish reading it. It was distasteful, dismissive, and drenched in condescension.

So here’s my response:

Thank God John Zibiri left Nigeria. I hope he never returns.

The Nigeria I Know

I’ve worked with expatriates for nearly three decades. In all my years, I’ve never met a John Zibiri. What I have encountered are Americans, Australians, Europeans, and Asians who fall in love with Nigeria—and often don’t want to leave when their assignment ends.

Why?
Because Nigeria offers them what few countries can. In Nigeria, they live like royalty—affording cooks, drivers, cleaners, security personnel. Many of them rise socially and financially far above the station they held back home.

One story we often laugh about came from my husband’s friend. A senior oil executive got married during his posting in Lagos. Years later, he was promoted and transferred to Europe. When his wife arrived at their new home—a small city apartment—she was stunned. No housekeepers. No driver. No fanfare. She actually asked him, “Are you sure this is a promotion? It feels like a demotion!”

He told that story himself at his farewell party—back in Lagos.

Tired of the Bad Press

Nigeria has its challenges—of course. But the media exaggerates them. I’ve traveled to many countries, and still, I’d choose Nigeria as my home any day.

That’s why I’m done listening to the likes of John Zibiri.

You don’t get to come here, enjoy our hospitality, benefit from our systems, and then drag our name through the mud.

You don’t get to define my people.

As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie once told Robert Emmet Tyrell, “You don’t get to define what racism is.”
In the same way, John Zibiri, you don’t get to define what Nigeria is.

If You Hate It So Much… Leave

Years ago, while working at Diageo PLC, I told my old boss John H—another expat—something similar.

“If you hate it here so much, Mr. H, why do you stay?”

His answer surprised me.

“That’s a good question, Ronkie. I know who I am and where I come from—but I wouldn’t be anywhere near who I am today if not for Nigeria.”

Exactly.

You see, many of these expats owe their success to Nigeria. And deep down, they know it.

To My Fellow Nigerians

Don’t let anyone belittle you or define you.

Despite our flaws—unstable electricity, bad roads, water scarcity, corruption—foreigners still come. And not for altruistic reasons. They come because Nigeria has value.

Our people are strong, smart, generous, and full of potential. We’re not perfect, but we’re not anyone’s punching bag either.

So to Mr. Zibiri I say:
You don’t like Nigeria. Fine. Nigeria probably isn’t crazy about you either.
But do us all a favor—keep your insults to yourself.
And please, don’t rush back.

Recommended story: We Don Close