Domestic Diva: When Did They Stop Seeing Me?
The Invisible Work of a Mother
It hit me one morning.
One of the kids walked into the room, looked right past me on the phone, and asked, “Can we go to the store?”
Inside, I thought, Can’t you see I’m busy?
Apparently not.
No one sees me cooking. No one notices when I’m sweeping. Or even if I’m standing on my head in the corner.
I am… invisible.
The Invisible Mom.
A Pair of Hands, Nothing More
Some days, I’m only a pair of hands.
“Can you fix this?”
“Can you tie this?”
“Can you open this?”
Other days, I’m not even that. I’m a talking clock:
“Mum, what time is it?”
Or a walking GPS:
“What channel is Disney on?”
Or the Uber driver:
“We need to leave by 5:30.”
I once had hands that held books, eyes that studied history, and a mind that graduated summa cum laude.
Now those parts of me are buried in peanut butter and laundry.
She’s going…
She’s gone.
Lost in the Life I Chose
Not long ago, we were celebrating a friend who had just returned from England.
She was glowing as she spoke about her trip—the hotels, the sights, the freedom.
I looked around.
Everyone else looked so… put together. I felt frumpy and forgotten.
But then, something unexpected happened.
Janice, the globe-trotting friend, handed me a gift.
A beautifully wrapped book.
“To Charlotte,” it read,
“With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”
The Cathedrals We Build
The book was about the great cathedrals of Europe.
I devoured it.
And I discovered four life-changing truths:
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No one knows who built the great cathedrals.
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These builders gave their lives to something they would never see completed.
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They made sacrifices. Quietly. Without credit.
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Their faith kept them going, because God sees everything.
There was one story in particular that stopped me in my tracks.
A man saw a builder carving a tiny bird into the underside of a beam—one that would be hidden by the roof.
“Why are you doing that?” he asked.
“No one will ever see it.”
The worker replied:
“Because God sees.”
A Whisper That Changed Everything
When I closed the book, I felt it.
A quiet voice in my heart:
“I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day. The cupcakes. The bedtime stories. The tiny acts of love. They matter.”
That moment healed something in me.
This Work Leaves No Name—But Lasts Forever
Sometimes, this invisibility feels like an affliction.
But it’s not erasing me.
It’s reshaping me.
It’s curing me of pride.
It’s shifting my perspective.
I now see myself as a cathedral builder.
I show up each day to build something that will outlive me.
My name may not be on it, but my fingerprints will be.
And honestly, when my son brings home a friend from college, I don’t want him to brag about my cooking or perfectly ironed linens.
I just want him to say:
“You’re gonna love it here.”
Mothers Are Quiet Architects of the Future
As mothers, we build cathedrals.
We may never see the final structure.
We may never get applause.
But what we are building is real.
And one day, the world will marvel—
Not just at the family,
Not just at the legacy,
But at the beauty we added to the world
Through the quiet, often invisible, work of love.
To every invisible mom: Great job. God sees.
Inspired by a post from Mikey’s Funnies
Read more Domestic Diva
Ovie Farraday is a wife and mother of five (including 2 teenagers and a pre-teen) living in a sub-Saharan West African suburb. She is married to an Architect and entrepreneur. Ovie Farraday is a pen-name.
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